It’s hard for me to think it, let alone say it out loud. But here goes. “I turned seventy on September 11, 2018.” And you? When did you turn seventy? Whenever, we’re kindred spirits.

I love, love, love writing each post for the OneDigital Trust blog.  This one, though, is different. It’s truly about you, my personal peeps, and me.

So, since different is different, I decided to take a leap (please excuse the cliche) and share, verbatim, “Simply 70; Perks of Turning Seventy.” Some made me laugh out loud; some made me shake my head; and some made me think: how stupid.

What is your opinion? Tell stories that relate to each.

 (BTW: Many authors wrote the basically the same perks. This one is from “The cosmictraveler,” written January 27, 2009.)

First tell the story of your seventieth birthday. Then, work your way through the perks:

  1. You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
  2. You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.
  3. People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”
  4. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
  5. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  6. Your eyes won’t get much worse.
  7. You flaunt your white hair.
  8. Your male doctors don’t look old enough to shave.
  9. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
  10. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
  11. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they won’t remember them either.
  12. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
  13. You have a list of restaurants offering “Early Bird Specials” stuck on your refrigerator.
  14. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
  15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  16.  In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
  17. No one expects you to run—anywhere.
  18. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
  19. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
  20.  You sing along with elevator music.
  21. You wear purple and red–together.
  22. You call your grandchildren to fix your computer or teach you how to answer your new phone.
  23. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
  24. You can’t remember who sent you this list.

What is the worst thing about being in your seventies?

What is the best thing about being in your seventies?